Friday, July 8, 2011

Creep Show

I watched out the window for the sorority girls to start walking back to The Greek.

They were so dumb and trusting.

I decided to give their boring, preppy little lives a little excitement.

I stripped down, grabbed my coat, and moved quietly in the grass. I stood still in the shadows positioned perfectly between two lamp posts. No one could see me.

Two clueless bitches were walking towards me. They were completely oblivious to everything around them. This was going to be fun.

- - - - - - - -

The house was so loud.  I couldn't concentrate. Every whisper, cough, toilet flushing and footstep sounded like a monkey screaming in my head.

I was so glad to be in the library. My brain could think.

I looked at my watch. It was time to go.

I walked out with my friend Judy.

"How's it going?" I asked as we started walking.

"I'm good. Tired. It's been a tough year." she said. "Nursing is hard."

"Yeah, I've heard. Do you have a job yet?" She and I were friends freshman year. But we hadn't seen each other much since then.

"I'm going to stay in Fort Worth and work at the hospital." she answered with a smile on her face. "I'll be in the maternity ward. I can't wait."

"Where are you going to live after grad..." I started to ask, before Judy interrupted.

"Keep walking. Don't panic. Just keep walking." her pace slowed. She slipped her hand on my forearm.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Just keep walking." she whispered.

I raised my eyes and saw a man standing in the shadows on the edge of the sidewalk. His face hidden in the dark. His body covered in a trench coat and nothing else. The coat was open wide daring us to look. His black eyes stared back as we approached.

I didn't even think. I just started running.

I sprinted like never before, like a deer racing through a field chased by a hunter.

My feet flew across the sidewalk and down two flights of stairs barely touching the ground.

I raced up the front steps to our house.

I could hear Judy coming up behind me.

"HELP!!! Let me in! HELP!!!! HELP! OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!!!" I screamed, pounding on the door, hitting the glass hard.

I seriously thought the naked man chased us.

I was breathless and in shock.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" I yelled, my eyes wild, as I hit the cold glass.

"Go to the back. You're not supposed to use this door." they mouthed through the glass.

My face twisted with rage and fear. "WHAT?" OPEN THE DOOR!!"

Suddenly they knew this was no joke. No sorority prank.

They opened the door.

"Oh my gosh. We were flashed. A guy just flashed us on the sidewalk. We were walking back from the library." I said panting, trying to catch my breath. "He totally flashed us. He was completely naked. Except for the trench coat. Oh my gosh." I was shaking.

We called the police.

They sent helicopters to search.

"Did he have a gun or a weapon" they asked.

I don't know.

"Can you identify him?" they wondered.

"No!! He was naked. His face was hidden!" I replied.

We huddled in the chapter room waiting for news.

No news. He was gone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I walked back to the apartment, hung up my coat, changed into sweats, and watched out the window. Those girls could run. Too bad the semester was over.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Today's TRDC Prompt was about writing what you know - with a twist. Take what you know out of your comfort zone. Try a new genre, a new time period, a geography you've only dreamed of, fantasy or historical instead of contemporary fiction, try the male POV if you usually write women. Or vice versa.

Switch it up. See where it takes you.

**This story was inspired by the time I got flashed in college. I wanted to write something kind of scary and with a guy as one of the characters. This incident came to mind. I have no idea who the perv was that flashed us. They never did find him.**

Concrit is welcome.


  1. Awesome! I love the way it flips between the characters.
    Creepy that it happened to you in real life though!!!

  2. Creep show is right!!! Why do people DO that sort of thing? Ick. Loved the switching back and forth between perspectives. Very nice job!

    Stopping by from RDC.

  3. This was amusing as well as creepy. I liked how you flipped back and gave the perspective of the flasher as well. Just goes to show, sometimes there is no "evil" in someone's motives, they just want to be funny.

    Small critiques: you use cliches a few times that don't flow as well with the story. The one about the cat in the first section and the one about the deer with the part about the girls. I think there would be a better way to demonstrate how each were moving than using those phrases.

    Otherwise, a very enjoyable read. Visiting from RDC

  4. Ooh, creepy. Nice building of the tension.

  5. Wowsers friend! I love that you went for dark and scary and that you flipped viewpoints- tricky!

    I read your note at the bottom about this coming from a real experience; so sorry to read that!

  6. Carrie - you are so right! I referred to a cat, monkey and a deer. LOL. Rookie move. HA!

  7. Oh ick! I was so revolted with the beginning segment that it was hard to think of it as just a prank. But that nausea that I am now feeling only means you did a great job with this prompt.

  8. YEs!! I love the creepy way it started, then the sudden switch to the 2 girls. Then back to the creepy.I kind of would have liked to see it all from the creepy's POV though. THAT would be really interesting. Great job with this. I've never been flashed until this story. ;)


Thanks for your feedback!