krismulkey.com

Last night I attended a Celebration of Life for a former colleague from my BevMo! days. Brian was our spirits buyer. He was also my self-appointed annoying brother—always teasing me, playing pranks, and finding new ways to make my job just a little more difficult...and a lot more fun. I left BevMo! in 2015. What surprised me most wasn't just hearing the stories about Brian. It was walking into a room filled with people I hadn't seen in more than a decade. I had forgotten how much history you can share with people you haven't seen in years. Within minutes, we were laughing like no time had passed. As the evening came to an end, we all found ourselves saying the same thing: "We should do this again...under happier circumstances." I hope we do. But I also know life has a way of getting busy. On the drive home, I called Melissa, another BevMo! coworker and friend who couldn't make it. Several people had asked about her throughout the evening. We talked the whole w...

A few weeks ago, my mom had been in the hospital for several days, so I flew to Surprise, Arizona, to stay with my 95-year-old dad. My parents live in a wonderful retirement community. Their apartment is small—one bedroom, one-and-a-half baths, a cozy little patio, and just enough room for my dad's books and all of my mom's holiday decorations. It's a constant negotiation. I slept on the sofa bed in the living room. Before going to bed that night, I turned off the lights around 11:30. I never even checked to see if the front door was locked. In their community, neighbors stop by, doors are often open during the day, and it simply felt...safe. The next morning, I was sitting on their little patio enjoying a cup of coffee before Dad woke up and our day began. Suddenly I heard him call from inside the apartment. "Kris... Mom's home." I froze. Home? How was that possible? She couldn't drive. She didn't even have the car. Why would the hospital release her ...

Last weekend we went wine tasting at a winery where we've been members for years. Or...were members. One of the first things we've done since I lost my job is pause the extras. Wine clubs, subscriptions, little luxuries. They're wonderful when life is steady. Right now, they can wait. While we were tasting, the gentleman pouring our wine asked the question everyone asks when they're making small talk. "So, what do you do?" Without even thinking, I answered with my old job. The words came out before my brain had a chance to catch them. The minute he walked away I thought, *Why did I say that?* The answer surprised me. Because I don't know what to say now. I'm no longer the title I've carried for years. I'm not ready to introduce myself as "unemployed." And "I'm looking for my next opportunity" somehow feels like an explanation instead of an introduction. It's strange how much of our identity gets wrapped up in our wor...

Yesterday, someone said something kind.   "I hope you can enjoy this time off." He meant well. I know he did. But the truth? I can't. Not yet. When you're employed, it's easy to assume that if someone is laid off with severance, they've been given a chance to breathe. Maybe they can sleep in, catch up on projects around the house, take a vacation, finish writing their book (hint, hint!), fill the calendar with fun day trips and hiking adventures, or simply enjoy the summer.  I used to think that too. Now I'm living it. Here's what it actually feels like. It feels like waking up every morning with uncertainty sitting at the edge of the bed. It feels like wondering how long it will take to find the next opportunity. It feels like doing mental math about mortgage payments, insurance, and all the responsibilities that don't stop just because your job did. People ask how I'm doing. I smile. "I'm exploring new opportunities." "I...

It started with a birthday gift.  I found my husband the cutest American flag T-shirt at the J.Crew Outlet. (It was going to be the gift from the dogs to Don, lol.) It wasn't loud or flashy. The stripes of the flag were made from old wooden boat oars—a clever nod to summer, the coast, and Americana. I thought it was perfect to wear on the 4th of July. His response surprised me. "I don't know if I can wear this." Not because he didn't like it. Because he wasn't sure what people would assume about him if they saw an American flag on his shirt. That stopped me. Somewhere along the way, a symbol that was once broadly understood has become something people feel they have to explain. Whether you see that as good, bad, or inevitable isn't really my point. What fascinated me was how quickly we all start asking the same question: **What story will people tell about me before I ever get a chance to tell it myself?** That's not just a political question. It's...

Dolly Parton is opening a business to compete with Buc-ee's. I honestly didn't see that coming. Now, if you've never been to Buc-ee's, you're probably thinking, it's a gas station. A convenience store.  That's where you are wrong. Oh so wrong. This majestic retail destination sits up on a hill and beckons you to go out of your way to get there. You are pulled to it like a magnet. My first Buc-ee's experience was in Sevierville, Tennessee, Dolly's hometown. I'm from Northern California and had never heard of the place. Within five minutes, I understood why people plan road trips around it. Imagine Disneyland if Disneyland sold beef jerky. Gas pumps as far as you can see. A giant sign out front telling you exactly what they pay their team — including the general manager. The wages are impressive. It has you second-guessing your career before you've even walked inside. Then you do walk inside. First stop: the bathrooms. Spacious. Spotless. Atten...