Friday, May 13, 2011

Candy thief

I'm hungry for something sweet.

Just a little something.

I can't think of anything in the fridge or pantry that sounds good.

And then I see the Easter basket on the counter. Elli is in school. She won't notice if I take a few pieces of candy.

I stretch in my chair to see if I can reach it without getting up. I reach as far as I can without tipping over in the chair but it's just out of reach. Bummer.

I stare at the basket for a few seconds then get up to see what's inside. There are at least a dozen plastic eggs, chocolate rocks, gummy bears, gum, cherry sours, M&Ms, jolly ranchers, chocolate eggs, bunnies and kisses. Oh, yeah. So I start shaking eggs.

I open a purple plastic egg. It's full of light-orange jelly beans. I eat a few. They taste like tangerine. Perfect.

I go back to my computer at the kitchen table. But I can't stop thinking about candy. Now I need some chocolate. I know she got some chocolate eggs so I go back to the basket and open a few more plastic eggs to find some chocolate. Bingo. Three chocolate eggs.

I open them up one-by-one. I let them melt in my mouth. I barely remember eating the last one.

Then I grab a tiny bag of gummy bears and a few Hershey kisses.

Ok. Now I'm done. Back to my chair.

I sit down, cross my leg, rest my head on my hand and stare at the screen. My post is going nowhere. So I go on Facebook.

I'm restless. All the noises outside are distracting me. And the dog keeps barking. "What!?" I snap at the dog.

I get back up and get some water. And while I'm up I randomly grab another plastic egg. One of the big ones. It's heavy and full of jelly beans. I crack it open at the table and let a few spill out. I switch to Twitter and finish the jelly beans.

Now the table is full of shiny wrappers, empty plastic eggs and I feel sick. I can feel a crease in my gut. Ugh, I feel gross. I think the candy is stuck in my stomach. Or maybe I drank too much water.

And then I panic.

Elli is smart and a candy freak. She will know stuff is missing.

I bury the wrappers in the master bedroom trash and shuffle candy around in their baskets to fill the empty eggs.

And the worst part? I got caught. Elli decided to surprise me and empty the trash for trash day. Guess what she found. Yeah, I suck.

And now I owe her candy the next time we go to the movies.


This week's TRDC prompt was to write a story about gluttony. It could be fiction or non-fiction. 600 words max. I did steal some candy. How much? I'll never tell.

13 comments:

  1. I love reading the sugar crash as it's happening, "I can feel a crease in my gut. Ugh, I feel gross. I think the candy is stuck in my stomach. Or maybe I drank too much water.

    And then I panic."

    As well as the sudden lack of focus and the bouncing from post, to facebook to twitter.

    And I KNEW you were going to get caught!

    On a personal note, my parents used to allow me only one night with my Halloween candy, imagine the havoc in our household when I found the candy they were supposed to have 'protected' me from in their closet one November.

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  2. Jennifer ---- Oh no they didn't. Ha!

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  3. Haha! I eat candy all the time, even when it's not Easter. Fortunately, I have my own so no kid to notice my theft :)

    Stopping by from TRDC

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  4. I love it! My kids actually know to HIDE their Easter baskets and Halloween bags from me!

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  5. This is totally something I would do. Okay, it's totally something I do! I figure I need it more than they do. Right? Right?!?!

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  6. My husband does this. To EVERYONE! Snack cakes are the worst for him. He doesn't care WHO they belong to!

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  7. My hubby is famous for stealing all of Elli's lunchbox snacks. He knows what they're for. Doesn't care! Anything in the pantry is up for grabs in his mind. : )

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  8. I've never stolen my kid's candy. Now way, un uh, not me... ;P

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  9. Love it lady!

    Sadly, oddly, strangely- I think all parents do this?

    Also? We're all afraid of getting caught! By our children!

    Love the intensity. And jellybeans? Yum! :)

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  10. Yup, I so would have been in your shoes if I had actually BOUGHT candy for Maddy.
    Wonder how long I'll get away with that?

    BTW, I have to hide candy from the DH. He's the worst! His latest atrocity: eating the M&Ms we had for bribing/potty training.

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  11. Oh my gosh.........We used to tell Kris that certain candy wasn't good for her health and pulled it out of the bag for her safety...........then Dad and I would go in the bedroom and have a good laugh and eat most of the candy we absconded with..........I suppose I deserve the stomach ache I got......but it was worth it at the time!
    Mom

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  12. Ha. I never knew that. You are terrible! But that is hilarious. Why didn't I think of that!!!!

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Thanks for your feedback!

~Kris

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