Fake it ’til you make it.

The first time someone said this to me, I was offended.

I had just started a new job, and my new boss pulled me aside and gave me that little nugget of career advice.

Fake it ’til you make it.

Excuse me?

I remember thinking, Does she think I don't know what I'm doing?

Looking back, I'm guessing my body language was telling her that maybe I wasn't quite as confident as I wanted everyone to think I was.

In my defense, it wasn't exactly the warmest work environment. I was probably walking around looking slightly terrified most of the time.

And, in a plot twist I couldn't have predicted, she was fired a few weeks later.

So I'm still not entirely sure what to make of her career advice.

But I've been thinking about that phrase lately.

I'm in what we're apparently calling a “career transition.”

Which is a much nicer way of saying I'm figuring out what the heck comes next.

And almost every day seems to require doing something that makes me uncomfortable.

Reach out to someone I haven't talked to in years.

Send the LinkedIn message.

Apply for the job.

Pitch the consulting project.

Walk into the room where I don't know anyone.

Tell people what I'm good at.

Ask for help.

Follow up when I don't get a response.

Follow up AGAIN when I don't get a response.

None of this feels particularly natural.

And here's what I've realized:

Maybe “fake it ’til you make it” doesn't mean pretending to be something you're not.

Maybe it means putting your game face on before you feel ready.

It's saying, “I can do this,” while a tiny voice in your head is saying, Are we sure about that?

It's walking into the room anyway.

Hitting send anyway.

Making the call anyway.

Trying something you've never tried before and accepting that you might be terrible at it the first time.

Because that's what getting outside your comfort zone actually looks like.

And it sucks.

There. I said it.

We love to talk about getting outside our comfort zones as if we're all going to emerge exhilarated and transformed.

Sometimes you do.

Sometimes it's just uncomfortable.

But you keep going.

And if what you're doing isn't working?

You don't automatically assume you're the problem.

You adjust.

You try something different.

You pivot.

Then you put your game face back on and try again.

Because eventually, something is going to stick.

So maybe my old boss was onto something after all.

Maybe we just need to update the phrase.

Believe it ’til you become it.

Believe you belong in the room.

Believe you have something valuable to offer.

Believe there's another opportunity out there, even when you can't see it yet.

And keep showing up until the confidence catches up with you.

I'm working on it.

ps. And yes, I watch Ted Lasso. And I really do have a sticky note on my monitor.