Monday, February 6, 2012

Wipe Out!

This is not me, but she could play me in this story.

No, I'm not going on that ridiculous show. I'm not that crazy.

But this WAS me on Saturday morning. Minus the large boxing glove.

Don and I were walking down the hill to the dog park when all of a sudden my feet slipped out from under me and I went down.

HARD.

The fall literally stunned me.

My glasses and hat flew off. The poop bag I was carrying flew out of my hand and landed five feet away. I scraped my hand, knee, and shoulder.

It hurt!

Don was walking right behind me and practically tripped over me as I landed splat all over the sidewalk.

"Are you ok? Do you want to go home? he asked.

Uh.......

I just sat there.

And then I looked behind me where I had just been STANDING.

"No, I'm okay. Just give me a second." My knee was bleeding. My hand hurt. The pavement, gravel and dirt, had made little dents in my palm.

What the hell?

"I guess I didn't see that dip in the sidewalk where the driveway is." I said.

Don shook his head, "No, you were talking and didn't see the dirt. You were looking the other direction and slipped."

Oh.

Damn dirt. They really need to sweep that up.

I finally got up and we started walking again. I was going to be really sore the next day. I could tell already.

"At least I didn't laugh at you." he snickered. "It's karma paying you back."

Really? Come on. It was a million years ago that I laughed at you trip over the tree root. I saw it walking behind you, you didn't, and your foot got caught under the gnarly thing causing you to faceplant into the dirt. I'm SURE I asked if you were okay before I laughed.

I'm positive about that.

Plus, hello, it was 1997. Karma acts way faster than that. I must have done something else more recently.

Let's not go there.

Fortunately, I wasn't really hurt. No broken bones. Just scrapes and soon-to-be bruises.

"This is EXACTLY why I don't ski!" I declared.

If I can't walk down a hill without hurting myself, there is no way I'm getting on skis.

End of story.

7 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. My first thought after I fell was, "Well, now I have something to blog about!" Don just shook his head like I was nuts. Maybe I am.

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  2. I really feel bad for you Kris. Hope you are starting to heal. But the thought that came to me almost like a lightning bolt was "the apple didn't fall too far from the tree" Your father has a propensity for missing the dirt spot, or the water, or the poop on the sidewalk, and down he goes! And oh, the aches and pains that follow, as well as the little cinders in the palm and the scratch getting redder and redder. Oh, how I can relate!
    Fix a couple of stiff martinis and at least it will seem better!
    Dad

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  3. Now listen, both of you....I can beat those stories......I tripped over the yellow bump in the grocery store parking lot and nearly got run over by a homeless biker! I had a bloody hand and knee and all the checkout girl would give me was ONE PAPER TOWEL!
    EVERY DARN THING FLEW OUT OF MY OPEN PURSE AND I WAS CRAWLING AROUND THE PARKING LOT PICKING EVERYTHING UP...
    My hand hurt for weeks........Hope you're feeling better today Kris.
    Mom

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  4. Thanks for the laughs folks!! Kris, I didn't initially laugh upon reading your sad story - I felt bad. But as I read on about Don and the Karma, and Dad's clumsiness, and Mom's parking lot splat I nearly pee'd my pants from laughing so hard. Too bad we didnt get any of these on video - we could have won $10,000!! LOL

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  5. And I'm out on the couch trying to read and all I can hear is Kathy busting a gut over this. Don, Kathy laughs every time I trip and fall. Then checks to see if I'm okay... D'oh!
    -mrmoo

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  6. Oh my gosh. You guys are killing me! Elli and I were laughing so hard last night at mom and dads comments. Now you two. Oy! My stomach!!!

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Thanks for your feedback!

~Kris

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